Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
