I think scott just propositioned me for sex
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
