the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
