I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize