I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize