I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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