I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
