if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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