My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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