I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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