I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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