It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize