In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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