Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
