we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
