Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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