Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish you could order shots online.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i think my cat just said my name.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
