butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
