He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
