I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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