I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
