Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
