so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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