Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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