yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize