Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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