Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
