love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
