i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
