i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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