Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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