therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
