Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was confusing and full of hummus
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
