yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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