dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
