right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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