In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
