found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
