The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
