Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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