She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
