How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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