is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
