DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
