i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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