Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
