and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize