Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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