I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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