you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
