i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
