As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
