Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
