Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
