A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
