She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
