What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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