I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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