there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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