i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
