your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
