The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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